Eff Thursday Games

Morning A’s,

In the dignified words of our esteemed colleague, Red Five, Eff Thursday games.  After carting equipment like Peruvian llamas back and forth across our National Mall, Stamm and I were only able to find a moderately inclined, ankle-breaking hole-filled patch of grass just to the south of the Monument.  Sun-drenched tourists flittered all around us on the beautiful afternoon, alternately enjoying their nation’s history and fleeing errant foul balls as the A’s competed in their second Thursday defeat of the season.

We crossed swords with the Government Printing Office, which apparently requires all its workers to still use a manual printing press a minimum of 12 hours per day.  We got off to a late start, both literally and figuratively, as we seemed incapable of producing runs on our 30^o slope.  Unfortunately, that didn’t slow down our opponents, as we let our bugaboo get to us; they scored nine runs in the first two innings as we kept fumbling defensively.  We also struggled at the plate – after Co-MVP Pattycakes Patterson led off the first with a double and run scored, our bats fell silent for the inning.  Co-MVP Bossman Sanderson led off the second in much the same fashion, but yet again The Hammer and the Storm lay dormant.

Seizing on a recently-opened field, the A’s and Prints moved their game, and seemingly at first, their fortunes.  Immediately following our transition to the new diamond, the A’s defense clamped down and only allowed 1 run over the next two frames.  Our Co-MVPs then led a rally in the bottom of the fourth that netted us a few runs and pulled us to within four of the lead.  But the behemoths of the Printing Office were simply too much for us – they started hitting some balls into the upper troposphere and some directly into our chests, shins, etc.  A homerun by Wes failed to spark any momentum in the bottom of the fifth, and though we got two more runs from the meat of our lineup in the 6^th, it wasn’t enough to stop the bleeding.  Before we started a 7^th inning that got called halfway through for a combination of darkness and being dominated we were down 16-9, so I suppose the final score was a good deal uglier than that.

But as with all losses, we should take this as a learning experience.  We learned that Marilyn is far and away the toughest Effing A there is.  We learned that Wild Wild Wes has got some wheels.  We saw some excellent prospects from the farm system continue to develop into ripe, talented A’s.  So let’s take solace in these discoveries, even in defeat, because we’re still within one game of .500 and only a few short days away from another chance to get back up on that horse.  On Tuesday of next week around 6:30pm, we’ll face off against the Margin of Terror, of Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research.  We’ll be playing somewhere on the mall, hopefully at or near our home field.  Please let me know if you want to play.  I’ve got a beverage sponsor for this game and the next (when we take on the REPUBLICANS!  WHOOOO!), but please consider volunteering for a future engagement.

Finally, for those of you just dying to rock our flattering raglan jerseys with the prominent expletive, please let me know.  I don’t have many folks for the order right now, so encourage everyone you know, everyone you work with, and folks you pass on the street on your way to lunch to get one.  If you do want one, please send me an email and let me know the name and number you’d like on it, and what size you want (they tend to run a little on the big side).  I’ll extend my deadline to Monday for the order, so work on folks this weekend.

Mike