Adam Smith is a Loser.

Good Morning A’s,

Oh it feels nice to be back on a winning streak!  That’s right; the A’s battled their way back to respectability last night in our first home game of the year against the Economic Hitmen, bringing us to an even .500 on the young season and leaving us in prime position to capture our first winning record in months.

But all this merriment almost didn’t come to pass.  The A’s started out in typical fashion (letting in a few early runs to give ourselves a nice hole to climb out of) while the sun was shining, and it looked for a minute as if we might escape the rain that had been in the forecast all day.  With steady small-ball, we managed to keep the game close through the first few frames as the sun began to give way to some ominously nimbostratus-looking clouds.  Popping singles left and a little less left, the A’s mustered 5 runs in the first three innings, a perfectly respectable rate, but not enough to bring us even with the Economic Hitmen who led by two when the skies really started to open up.

Things started to get a bit dicey at this point.  On defense, a few epic wipeouts started to plague both squads (and cost us our clutch thirdbasewoman, Killer Kelly Trout), while batters for each team struggled to find traction for their feet and grip for their hands.  The rain had taken over, and we looked to be in for a sloppy second half.  Pattycakes Patterson started off the fourth with a soggy groundout, and after another quick out, any outside observer would have stuck a fork in these A’s.  But this resilient gang decided a two-out rally might help. Mattycakes Marran (I’m just kidding, I won’t call you that, I promise) singled.  MVP TheWertz crushed a liner to center field for another single.  And like the proverbial downhill snowball, we were off; a barrage of singles, aided by a few miscues from the Hitmen on defense, ultimately led to our second straight week of imposing a mercy rule on our opponents.  The heroic rally was capped off by a towering homerun from the bat of Alex Stamm, and the A’s took a commanding 15-7 lead into the fifth inning.

It would have been nice to end this soggy saga (rimshot, please) here, but we still had three innings to play.  And apparently, our rally had taken the last bit of life out of the A’s bats; we were held scoreless through the next two frames while the Hitmen crunched some numbers and somehow battled back to tie things up heading into the 7^th.  But these A’s don’t go down without an effing fight.  As Theresa would have said, this was OUR TIME.  Leading off the top of the order, Red Five (Freyve?) jump started the offense with a timely single.  Skip and Stamm helped keep things going with extra-base hits, and were both driven in as the hits kept coming.  Jennifer Wedekind “Of people make the club get crunk” scored our fifth run of the inning, putting us up 20-15.  The A’s tightened up on D for the last half, only allowing the Hitmen’s tryhard to score, and we sauntered off with our second straight victory.

So we now are back to .500 and in the midst of our first winning streak in nearly a calendar year.  Like our beltway brethren, these A’s are starting to look pretty strong in the early stages of the season. We vaulted up 15 spots in the rankings, and we’re now firmly in the top half of the league.  But there’s still plenty of room for improvement, which we can start on next week as we’ll take on the Notorious LBC (The Dept. of Labor) at 6:30pm on Tuesday, hopefully right back there on our home field.  Please let me know if you’d like to come out.  Beverages are taken care of for the game next week, but please consider sponsoring in the future.  Also, if you haven’t paid your team fee yet, next week would be an excellent time to do so.  Or even before then.

Great game A’s, every one of you.  I hope to see you all (especially Wes) out again next week.

Effing A, Mike

That's More Like It!

Goooood Morning A’s,

What a wonderful game that was!  Playing in our first away game of the season, the First Effing Amendments started their road trip in style, decimating the Muckrakers for the first victory of the 2012 season!

TheWertz about to kick some ass

It was a beautiful late spring day for softball; the sun was shining and the humidity wasn’t yet up to its stifling summer level as hordes of tourists mobbed the mall all around us.  Tired of constantly fighting from behind, the A’s sprung into action early as TheHoffandTheWertz started a first-inning rally that saw the first five batters score.  New additions to the lineup Brian Levine and Lefty Will were brought in for their defensive prowess, and helped hold the A’s first early-game lead of the season.  Two scoreless innings for the A’s followed while the Muckrakers continued to produce a few runs each frame, and all of a sudden the A’s went into the 5^th inning down one.  It was beginning to look like the A’s would fall yet again.

Skip just after NOT swinging at the first pitch. It paid off.  

But with an abundance of determination, a plethora of clutch hitting, and possibly a little divine intervention, we turned things around in a big way in the 5^th.  With the meat of the lineup leading things off, we began our second, even better rally of the day.    A few singles started things off before Alex “Eff the third base coach I ain’t stopping” Stamm hit a moonshot that almost landed in the duck pond, giving him a home run and further solidifying his hold on the MVP cerveza.  We went back to our bread and butter, with everyone from rugged veterans like our runner-up MVP Kelly Trout to intriguing farm prospect Prashanth knocking singles all over the field.  After we batted around, we scored our tenth run of the inning and first mercy-rule of the season.  Then we tightened things up on defense for the last few innings and the A’s had yet another rally in the 7^th, netting us 6 more runs.  When the dust had settled, the A’s left the Vietnam War Memorial with our first victory of the 2012 campaign, with a final score of 24-11.

So we are now right back in the thick of things in the CSL.  We moved to within a game of .500, and we can improve upon our record next week as we look to continue/create the first winning streak of the season.  On Tuesday at 6:30, we’ll take on the Economic Hitmen, of the Center for Economic and Policy Research.  

I’m imagining a bunch of folks that look like this:

So we should be in pretty good shape.  We’ll be getting the field and shooting to grab our usual spot at 15^th and Constitution, in the Ellipse.  Please let me know if you plan on playing.  Also, I need a beverage sponsor for the game; let me know if you’d like to volunteer.

And quickly, I’m going to order jerseys soon (I promise); hit me up if you want one and haven’t told me already.  I’ll have a price for you when I order them.  And if you have not yet paid your team fee, please pay me at the next game or next time you see me.  Thanks!

Effing A, Mike

(PS – image searches for Alan Greenspan turn up some weeeeeird stuff)

A Strong, But Ultimately Unsuccessful Start

Morning A’s,

Well I for one am very happy with the team’s performance in last night’s season opener.  Under a portentous cloud cover, a small A’s squad took on an even smaller Sons of Pitches on Barry’s lawn, determined to fight through the slick field and looming sprinkling of rain to start its effing season in true A fashion.  Meaning, we dug ourselves into a giant hole and needed a miracle or three to find our way out.

Still apparently shaking off the offseason rust, the A’s porous defense let in 8 runs in the top of the first, and things were looking pretty grim.  A lesser team would have certainly lost its composure, but these resilient Amendments knew there was still plenty of game left and started chipping away immediately, scoring three runs in the first two innings with the help of 2 triples and a double.  But we were still down by a hefty margin going into the third, when the light seemed to really go on.

K-Dawg and skip led off the inning and both promptly grounded out; the A’s looked dead in the water.  But utilizing our patented small ball technique, a 2-out rally of singles in the 3^rd netted us four more runs.  The Pitches were starting to sweat.  A 1-2-3 inning on defense followed, and the A’s were back up, ready to build off the momentum of the previous inning.  Red Five started the next rally with a single, becoming the first of 6 players who would score in the inning.  The tide had turned!  The A’s took their first lead of the game, and of the 2012 season, heading into the 5^th up 13-11.

But just when things were looking their best, the A’s lost their mojo and their bats fell silent for the next two innings while the Pitches’ seemed to wake back up.  They scored nine more over three frames to take a commanding 20-13 lead heading into the bottom of the 7^th, when MVP Matt “Mr. 1.000” led a rally that would fall just short of handing the Pitches a defeat.  The A’s went down quasi-triumphantly, scoring 18 runs in a losing effort to start the season.

But as I said, I’m very happy with this performance.  We had 2 players bat 1.000 on the day (guess those Picky Pants are paying off…) and 4 others who hit .600.  We had solid defensive play (especially after the first inning) all over the field, and truly clutch performances on both sides of the ball.  So let’s build off this excellent performance and go smoke the One-Hitters tomorrow (not literally; who knows what’s in those guys?)

That’s right; we’ve got another game just over 24 hours away.  I’m psyched, you’re psyched, heck even my grandmother’s been talking about this game for weeks.  Let me know if you can play. Also, I need a beverage sponsor for tomorrow’s game – let me know if you want to do it.  I again will be scouting and looking to get our home field.  The rain shouldn’t be an issue; the forecast is calling for 70 degrees and sunny.  So we should be in for a beautiful day in which to renew our rivalry against the stoners.  

Effing A, Mike

tick tock tick tock

Hey A’s,

Happy Tuesday!  I’m having a particularly good one because the clock is counting down and our 2012 adventure is so close I can taste it (and it tastes like sweet, delicious canned beer).  We are now just one week away from the official start of the effing onslaught that will befall the CSL this season, at the hands of the First Effing Amendments.  Next Tuesday we will begin to exact our revenge on the Sons of Pitches, sponsored by ELO (no, probably not that ELO).  We’ll bring them down as we hold on tight to our dreams of victory, turning them to stone in the process.  Ok, I’m sorry, that was just gratuitous.

So I can now once again ask you all to let me know if you plan on playing.  The game will start around 6:30 or whenever we get enough people, hopefully on what became our home field last season (Google Map).  Because apparently DC has claimed eminent domain on our old home field and is turning it into a new museum (I hear there’s going to be an A’s exhibit).  I’ll be grabbing the field after work so there’s a slight chance we won’t end up there. Keep in mind that we also have a game on Thursday of next week (2 in our first week!) against the One Hitters, sponsored by Capitol Hemp.

Beverages are taken care of, but please consider sponsoring a future game.  Also, this game would be an excellent opportunity for you to pay your team fee, if you haven’t yet.  I have not ordered jerseys yet so you’ll have to squeeze into that one from last year – I’ll be ordering them soon, though, and let everyone know the price.  So get your orders in asap.

Finally, I’m happy to hold a practice this weekend if anyone’s interested.  Let me know if you’d like to come out, and which day/time works best for you.

I’ll of course send around another email on Monday, but feel free to let me know if you’re playing in our season opener before then.

Effing A,


Mike