update to Schedule: Game Added

Just a quick note today – I added one more game to our schedule so we can renew our rivalry against the One-Hitters, a grab bag of stoners drug policy experts.  We’re going to take them on Thursday, May 10, for our second game of the season.  Our full (and I promise, final) schedule is on the right – 24 games in all, giving us a nice and robust season.

Batting practice

A little pre-season practice. Two weeks to go!

2012 Schedule has arrived

What a lovely morning this is – we just finished scheduling our 2012 season!  And hard as it might be to believe, our offseason is just about over.  With global warming climate change  a bunch of bogus liberal hippy science turning DC into a sauna even earlier than usual, I figure we might as well take advantage of the nice weather.  We embark upon our heroic 2012 campaign against the first of two teams named “Sons of Pitches” on Tuesday, May 8, two weeks from this coming Tuesday.  I want to encourage everyone to come out, whether as a player or cheerleader, to give our season the strong start it deserves. 

Some other schedule highlights include: renewing rivalries against the likes of the Muckrakers in our second game of the season, The Freedom Ticklers at about the halfway point, and the Non-Pros, longtime foes of the ACLU (but not so much the FOEs), who we missed playing last year.  On June 19, we play against my favorite opponents, a team we played to the most epic tie in CSL history last season, the Republican National Committee.  And on June 14, we will play in a war for the ages, the Battle of the Amendments, as we take on the 10th Amendments (National Conference of State Legislatures).  Then we have plenty of games against naïve teams who have yet to feel the wrath of a First Effing Domination.  The full schedule is posted at the bottom of this email.  Most of our games are on Tuesdays, with a few Thursday games and one on a Wednesday.  There are 5 weeks in which we’ve got 2 games, for a total of 23 games (three more than last year).

Now for some minor business; let me know if you want a jersey.  Our logo this season comes from renown fashion designer Patrick “Pickypants” Connors; just fyi, the shirts aren’t exactly censored.  Also, please come find me to pay your team fee ($20 for the regulars, $10 for part-timers), which covers our registration and insurance.  And, this is very important: I need hydration sponsors for the season.  Unfortunately miller lite dropped its sponsorship of the league.  We need one person per game, and I only ask each person to do it once throughout the season.  It’ll run about $35 per game – please let me know if you’d like to volunteer.

So, come on out and join the fun this season. 

Effing A,

Mike

The 2012 Offseason Preparations

Hi A’s and ACLU folks in DC,

It sure looks like softball weather outside.  Which is a good thing, because the 2012 First Effing Amendments of the ACLU are officially a squad in the Congressional Softball B League!  Try to contain your excitement.  I’m looking forward to a strong 2012 campaign to rebound from our substandard 2011 season, which saw the A’s regress in the W column (but definitely not the fun column).

I’m writing to formally invite each and every one of you to come join in what will be a monumental tidal wave of A’s domination over the coming months.  In that time, we shall exert our will on non-partisan think tanks, lowly Congressional staffers, various government agencies the GOP is seeking to de-fund, and probably a team or two of former college players who will bear the tar out of us.  We’ll laugh, we’ll cheer, we’ll take full advantage of the leniency of the secret service police, and I’ll probably end up with a debilitating knee injury (again).  So, good times.

We’ll likely start having actual games around the second or third week of May; most will take place on Tuesday evenings right down on the mall.  We don’t have a schedule yet but rest assured, I’ll be I touch with an overly verbose email about it.  Before then, there are some administrative things I’ve got to get out of the way.  First and foremost is registration; if you want to play, we want you on the team.  As in years past, I’m requesting a $20 donation from those who intend to be full (or mostly full) time participants; $10 from part-time playas.  Please email me with your commitment and come find me (I’m on the 7^th Floor in the front) to drop off your contribution to the team fee.  This fee covers our registration and insurance for the inevitable tourist-related injuries.

Next up on my to-do list is jerseys.  If your jersey from previous seasons has worn out, or if you just want to join the super-stylish crew rocking the ¾ sleeves and most offensive logo in the league, either as a player or a cheerleader, please let me know a name, number, and size you’d like.  The price will vary based on how many we order, but usually comes in at around $20-$25 per shirt.

Which brings me to my last item – practice.  Now I know none of you will actually come to a practice.  I get that.  Instead, let’s go hit up the batting cages.  I know of cages on the border of Arlington/Alexandria, but if someone knows of any that are closer, please tell me.  I’d like to go take some BP in April, either on a weekend or a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday night.  I can drive a few folks out (and if anyone would like to volunteer to cart more A’s over, I’d appreciate it).  Let me know if/when you’d like to go and I’ll work it out. 

I’d also like to extend an invitation to the entire DC ACLU family to join the A’s for our last offseason happy hour, which will take place on the second Tuesday of April (April 10), at either Harry’s (11^th & E) or Post Pub (TBD).  Shoot me an email if you’re interested.

Before I wrap things up, I’d like to thank everyone who has played with us in years past and everyone who will this upcoming season, along with the WLO and NPP for their generous ongoing support of my unhealthy fascination with slow-pitch, supposedly non-competitive softball.  I’m so psyched for this season.

Effing A,