Badgers!

Morning A’s,

Well.

We lost.  We played better last night than we did the week before, with solid contributions from all around.  But the Honey Badgers just didn’t give a shit because they’re CRAZY.  I mean look at this thing:  Ew!  And it eats snakes!  Oh my god.

Under some portentous clouds, the A’s again got off to a slow start, giving those nastyass badgers a 4 run cushion to start the game.  We meanwhile struggled at the plate early.  We could only produce 1 run on a few scattered hits through the first 3 frames.  Also having trouble defensively, the A’s went into the bottom of the fourth down by a wide margin at 10-1.  After the Hammer was robbed by the Badgers’ token tryhard, MVP Matt Pinder hit a rocket to left center field and scored, giving the A’s a glimmer of hope heading into the later innings.  But we just couldn’t stop the Badgers from scoring.  We had a great little run there in the 5^th, with a 3-run shot from Shane “Charlie Hustle” Kunselman and a 2-run jack from Bri Guy Patterson, but we were still down 5 going into the last 2 innings, a deficit we could not overcome.  Maybe if we had just cut more taxes for the rich so they could make jobs….

Anyhoo, following this defeat, we’ve now slid to .500 on the season after our strong 3-1 start.  So in order to keep pace on our epic 2011 campaign, we need to come out strong next week with a crushing victory as we take on la Flama Blanca (the White Flame).  Please note that we are playing on Thursday of next week, not our normal Tuesday schedule, because I didn’t think I’d have enough people here after the holiday.  Please let me know if you plan on playing.  The game should take place at around 6:30, at the same place we’ve been playing.  I’ll send around a reminder before the game.

It’s time to get effing serious, A’s.

Effing A,

Wow.

Well A’s,

That wasn’t exactly our best performance last night.  Despite our calling up talented rookies Victoria, Carly, and Will 2, the First Effing Amendments fell to the Washington Bashionals last night in a pretty ugly 15-2 game.  It wasn’t the worst game we’ve ever played, but the A’s struggled on both sides of the ball last night.  After the Bashes got out to a big 7-0 lead in the first, the A’s could never recover.

Among the few bright spots in the game was the fantastic defensive play of folks like Emily, Matt, Bill, and the Hoff.  We had strong outings from both Sandy of the Pinder variety and reliever Krissy on the mound, but the Bashionals were in rare form last night and just connected with everything.  Of course they also had the token tryhard center fielder who beat out a throw home from center field while on second base and up 11 runs.  Their stifling defense held us scoreless through the first 6 frames, but the A’s hate bagels and were determined to not be shut out.  In the bottom of the 7^th, MVP Olivia Lenson got things going with a double, then scored thanks to some aggressive baserunning on Grizzly Owens’ hit.  Four more singles followed and we scored another run and had bases loaded at the end of the game, but our luck ran out at that point and we lost our second game of the season.

But it’s not all bad.  We’re still sitting at a solid 3-2 on the year, now ranked #44 in the CSL.  Next week we’ll face off against the Honey Badgers, who just don’t give a s**t (if you still aren’t getting the reference, watch this:

(Warning: contains strong language).  We’ll likely be playing at the same place, at the same time (6:30, here on Google maps: .  I’ve already got a beer sponsor for next week but please consider sponsoring a future week, if you haven’t done so already.  Also, please let me know if you plan on coming out.  Gracias.

Hey, at least when we lose you don’t have to read such stupidly long emails….

Effing A,

Game Tomorrow

Good Morning A’s,

Tomorrow’s a big day; the axial tilt of the Earth is most inclined towards the sun at a whopping 23^o26’!  No wait, I mean, we’ve got a game tomorrow.  We face off against the Washington Bashionals, a bunch of random folks who have banded together to form a team that is actually tied with us in the rankings at #29!  So now is our time to pull away from the pack with a glorious victory to celebrate the summer solstice.

The game should start around 6:30 or so, and we’ll hopefully get back in our new practice bubble (here on google maps:) for the game.  Please let me know if you plan on playing.  Feel free to come early to warm up or just trash talk the opponents.  If you have trouble finding the field, text or call me at  and I’ll help you find us

Stupid Kochs

Hi A’s,

Ugh.  Well I guess we couldn’t win them all.  But boy do I hate losing, especially when it’s to a bunch of neocons.  Despite home-field advantage on what was apparently a gnat farm and the influx of newly acquired talent from our farm system, the A’s couldn’t muster up enough liberal karma to overcome the insidious Atlas Slugged of Freedom Works.

With about as full a squad as I can remember, the A’s went into the games with high hopes, only to have them crushed out by corporate influences.  Our D was pretty solid through the first two frames, only allowing 3 runs.  We started off the bottom of the first facing a curveball throwing, sex-obsessed college republican.  We played our typical brand of small ball, as Red Five and MVP Elayne “I bat a thousand” Weiss led off with singles, and were driven in by Schroeder and skip.  In the second, Shane Kunselman (I’ll come up with a good nickname for you, I promise) led off by beating out an infield grounder and Sandy of the Pinder variety hit one through the gap to give us two baserunners, who scored on sacrifice hits by 2^nd MVP Joanna “I’m” Wright and Game 1 MVP Emily Wertz.

Things started to go a little downhill from there.  The cons scored six over the next two frames to reclaim the lead, and the A’s couldn’t get anyone across in the 3^rd.  In the bottom of the fourth, our first 5 hitters all scored, including Grizzly Owens, Char, the Fulton of Swat, and Olivia “The Late Addition” Lenson.  MVP Elayne Weiss hit her second single of the game and got an RBI to keep her average at 1.000 for the day, but we couldn’t get any more across the plate.  After a scoreless 5^th, the A’s D broke down in the 6^th, allowing 6 runs to the cons, which proved to be too big a hole to climb out of.  Even though Joanna scored and Georgeanne drove in Alex Moore after a triple, and we held the cons scoreless in the top of the 7^th, the A’s went down in inglorious defeat, 15-11.

But what this really means is that we now have a shot at redemption.  We play again on Tuesday of next week against the Miner Leaguers (The Federal Mine Health and Safety Review Agency).  The game will probably start at 6:30, and will most likely be played at our new practice bubble (where we were last night).  Please let me know if you plan on coming out.  And if someone would like to sponsor beers, that would be great.

One final note (I promise): If you want one of our sweet jerseys, PLEASE LET ME KNOW BY COB TOMORROW.  I’ll need to know what name, number, and size you’d like.  They will run somewhere between $25-30 each.

That’s all folks.

Effing A,

Skip

Sexiest Team in the League

Hey A’s,

Just a quick one today, I promise.  If you ordered a jersey for the first round of ordering, they’ve arrived!  And we’re gonna look damn good in them.  Will has your jerseys on the 6^th floor at his desk.  If you’ve already paid, please go ahead and pick it up; or you can bring your payment and leave it with Will.  For those of you who don’t work in our office, I’ll bring them to the game on Tuesday.  Which reminds me – this is also a reminder that we have a game on Tuesday against Freedom Works’ Atlas Slugged team.  Come on out for the fun, and please let me know if you plan on doing so.

If you want to sport one of these fine pieces of artistic wonder for the season but didn’t order the first time around, please let me know asap.  I’d like to put in the other order sometime next week so they’ll get here with plenty of time left in the season.

Finally, here are the google (https://www.google.com/calendar/b/0/embed?src=nt43spm2dbn8csbkkgv91j6ues@group.calendar.google.com&ctz=America/New_York)

and i-calendars (https://www.google.com/calendar/ical/nt43spm2dbn8csbkkgv91j6ues%40group.calendar.google.com/public/basic.ics_

I promised at the game on Tuesday, for the technologically inclined.  Thanks a bunch, Patrick!  Enjoy!

OK A’s, I’m out of the office Friday and Monday so you won’t see any more emails from me (thanks the heavens!) until Tuesday.  Bring your game face

Effing A,

Skip

How Bout Them A's?

Morning A’s,

And what a beautiful, if oppressively muggy, morning it is!  If ESPN had any sense, they would have been replaying our extraordinary victory 5 times an hour on SportsCenter last night instead of that boring basketball game.  Despite not having our best offensive or defensive outing of the season, the A’s pulled through in grand fashion last night

After settling on a shaded clearing just south of the Ellipse, one with the bonus of having a giant tree to trip up opposing center fielders (and of not having belligerent futbollers), the A’s took to the field against the Blue State Digital Online Tools at the prompt starting time of nearly 7 o’clock.  Things were looking bleak early; assailed by determined gnats from all directions, a subpar defensive effort from the A’s left the Tools up 4 going into the bottom of the first.  But these A’s don’t just lie down for any old Tools.  We came back strong early, with the first five hitters all getting on base, four with singles.  Four A’s got across the plate to even things up going into the second.

The second inning came and went with just 6 batters total.  The Tools scored one in the top of the 3^rd, which despite a few more singles, the A’s couldn’t match in bottom frame.  As the A’s defense steadily improved throughout the game, we held the Tools scoreless in the top of the 4^th, when Sandy “the Fulton of Swat” led off, followed by the meat of the order.  Rabbi Bossman Sanderson reached first on our 896^th single of the day.  2^nd MVP Bill “Slugging Percentage” Smith hit a bomb nearly out to Constitution Ave and turned it into a 2-run homer, and the A’s were sitting much prettier heading into the 5^th with a 6-5 lead.

But these pesky Tools just wouldn’t go away.  Employing the A’s strategy of super-small ball, they managed a run in each of the next two innings to reclaim the lead.  The A’s continued to struggle a bit with the power hits, but we scored one in the bottom of the 6^th, on singles of course, to tie the game and send it into extra innings.  Both Ds held firm in the 7^th, and the A’s couldn’t get anything done with two more singles in the bottom half.  But as Theresa would say, this was OUR TIME.

The Tools went on the offensive in the top of the 8^th, scoring one.  Then Sandy, of the Pinder variety, got things going for the A’s in the bottom of the 8^th with her second single through the gap, bringing her average on the day to .667.  Will “The Hammer” Horowitz followed with a monster triple to left-center field and Sandy scored to tie the game again, with one out.  Stepping up to the plate and tapping his cleats, Alex Moore was determined to win that MVP Beer.  He worked the opposing pitcher for 7 pitches before finding one he liked.  With a deep drive to left field, Alex watched his ball sail off into the sky, and then into the outfielder’s glove.  Hope seemed to have left the A’s this day, but then came the break we were looking for.  After some confused yelling from Ole Skip here, the left fielder tried to throw home and the ball went skipping past the catcher, giving The Hammer all the room he needed to run home and let the MVP and the A’s walk off the field in a dramatic 8-7 victory.

We have now jumped out to a perfect 2-0 on the season, putting us in 14^th place in the Congressional Softball League.  We continue our historic season next Tuesday against the least offensive part of the Koch dynasty, their softball team, “Atlas Slugged.’ (I know, I know…).  The game will begin around 6:30, assuming they don’t punk out on us, and will probably be played at or very near the field we played on last night.  I’ve got a beer sponsor and I’m pretty sure I don’t need any more volunteers to help carry stuff to the field, so just come on down ready to play.  But please let me know if you plan on playing.  We might have a pretty big turnout so I want to gauge who I’ve got.  Also, if you owe me money for registration or a jersey, or want to pay me in advance to sponsor beer for a week, please bring that with you.

That’s about it for now.  I can’t promise I’ll send another reminder before Tuesday of next week, so Wes, put it on your calendar now.  If you have to come out in a suit again, I want to see you there next week.

Effing A,