Struggling for Players

Hey A’s,

It is unfortunately that time of year again, the time every softball manager dreads, when his crop
of fresh young legs (aka law clerks) have left for the summer and only the true stalwarts remain
to form the core of a previously-dominant squad. Following the departure of the majority of our
team, I am finding it exceedingly difficult to pull together enough people to field a team for the
remaining games we have. So I implore you to please, please come out, even if for only one
game this season, to join in the effing splendor of A’s baseball. Bring your friends, your family,
your coworkers, that creepy guy who leers at you in your apartment building lobby, heck even an
athletic dog that can field a fly ball would be useful. Just please help me find some bodies so I
don’t have to hang my head in shame as we forfeit away the end of a great season.

So I really need some players for tomorrow. Get out there and the spread the word, and please
let me know asap if you’re able to conjure up any additional help for us. If we don’t have a
squad by midday tomorrow I’m going to need to forfeit, so that’s your time frame. Thanks!

Effing A,

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