A Tough Loss

Hi A’s,

Boy we’ve got to stop playing at that field at 20th and Constitution. I think we’re 0-4 there
over the past 3 seasons. First it was the All-Vols handing us our heads every season. But
yesterday, despite a valiant effort by the First Effing Amendments, we were felled by the Rakers
of Muck. The A’s once again started to light up the scoreboard early, batting completely around
in the first inning and driving a whopping nine (NINE!) runs across the plate, including the
first grand slam of the season. Those mucksters were begging for mercy at the end of that
first inning. Unfortunately though for the A’s, our first-inning production accounted for more
than half the runs we’d score the entire game. MVP Corey “I’m even faster with my shoes
on” Lewin started off the second with a home run that nearly crossed Constitution Ave, but the
A’s struggled mightily afterwards, only putting one more runner across the plate over the next
3 frames. Despite some very solid defensive play from the likes of Theresa “The next Bryce
Harper” Chalhoub behind the plate, newcomers Mangesh and Emily, and our dear FoE friends,
the ringers on the muckrakers were just a little too much to handle. The mucks had consistent
offensive production, primarily from Jimmy Rollins’ brother who was playing shortstop, and
solidified their D (again, primarily from Mr. Rollins) to hold off the A’s through seven innings,
with the final tally coming in at 20-15 following a late-game rally that plated 3 A’s in the top of
the 7th. We have again dropped to the .500 mark on the season, with an overall record of 4-4-1,
but it will only be a temporary stay as we’re going back to battle next week, against the Stars and
Strikes (of the Senate Armed Services Committee).

As you probably imagined, the game will be somewhere on the mall, but a final location has
yet to be determined. I will inform everyone as soon as we figure that out. It will start around
6:30pm. Please let me know if you’d like to play. Also, if anyone could volunteer to supply
beers for the game, that would be great. For those of you who ordered a jersey, they should be in
by then, and I’ll bring them to the game with me.

That’s all, folks. Have a nice holiday weekend, and try not to blow off any fingers or anything.

Effing A,

Skip