A Thorough Trouncing

Morning A’s,

What a beautiful day it is! The sun is shining in celebration of the First Effing Amendments’
first official blowout of the season, as we rolled over the DC N8IVs in the shadow of the White
House. Even the 275% humidity couldn’t keep the A’s from playing to their utmost potential.
After a rough first inning that saw the A’s go scoreless for the first time this season, things
weren’t looking too good for us, especially as the N8IVs exposed some gaps along our baselines
to punch two across in the bottom half. Thankfully for the A’s, MVP Justin “I hit everything
in sight” Casson led off the second inning with a titanic home run that started to swing the
momentum back to our side, where it would remain for the rest of the game. Following a
much better defensive inning, the A’s batted around, plus a few in the 3rd as we hit at least 3
consecutive ground-rule doubles (which probably would have been home runs, had there not
been a big stupid tree in center field). But the Natives were a scrappy bunch and combined some
stellar defense with small-ball on offense to tie the game up heading into the 5 th frame. We
were back at the top of the order, and after two quick outs the meat of the lineup all scored on
Justin’s second home run of the day. In relief for Strasburg Jr., Bhargav fed the N8IVs a steady
diet of knucklers and spitballs to silence their bats, and despite some shoddy first base play (my
bad) the A’s held their lead. We batted around again, two more times actually, in both the sixth
and seventh innings to really put the “nail in the coffin” (Gotta love NBA Jam). We had just
awesome production up and down our lineup; 6 of us scored 3 runs and 2 of us scored 4; eight
of us were above .500 on the day. So I want to thank everyone for taking the time to hit the
batting cages this past week; it clearly paid off. When the onslaught was over and the dust had
settled, the A’s rode off into the sunset (a/k/a Harry’s) with our biggest victory of the season, a
whopping 27-15. We now stand at (officially) 5-4-1 (really though it’s 6-3) on the year. Great
game, A’s.

So now we must ride that momentum into one of the biggest weeks of the season as we have two
games next week, on Tuesday and Thursday. On Tuesday, we will try to fend off the ferocious
Grunley Bears, of the Grunley Construction Company. The Gruns pretty much handed us our
heads last season in a game that ended with a score somewhere in the vicinity of 135-2. So it’s
payback time for the First Effing Amendments. Then on Thursday we have a makeup game for
one that got rained out earlier in the season as we take on the Non-Pros, from the Department of
Energy (Non-Proliferation section), which should be a cake walk compared to our fight against
the Bears. Games will be on the mall, 6:30ish, exact locations TBA (but probably not with
GPS coordinates because I have NO clue how he did that). Please let me know which game(s)
you would be able to attend. And if anyone would like to sponsor beverages, I would love you
unconditionally forever (well even more than I already do).

That’s it for now A’s. Hit the ice tub and rest up those sore muscles because next week is a
biggie.

Effing A,

Skip